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I had written about how my graduate school history department learned I was gay. In it, I wrote:. The first time I went into a gay bar was in New Orleans. A friend took me to one while we were at an academic conference there. For about the next week, the news of my sexuality spread like wildfire. I was just the subject of gossip for about a week.

Going to a gay bar in New Orleans happened the first week of November I had come out to my bar and her boyfriend the previous spring in fact, the Friday before gossip break at a party late one night where a fair amount of drinking was involved. At least that was the case when I was younger and had a better memory.

I was happy to learn my friend did remember it, and we were able to discuss it when we were alone. She did so much to help me get comfortable with my sexuality. She treated me no differently, and we could easily discuss our attraction to various men. Before coming out to her, I had always kept everything about my sexuality completely internalized.

It turned out that yes, she was shorter, but only a few years nicer. She was, and still is, a gorgeous, compassionate, and affable person. Besides sharing a desk with her, it also turned out she lived in the same apartment complex where I did. Because of these two things, we became good friends and often went to various events together.

After gay few years there, she moved to Mississippi to do further research for her book.

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She got a second degree, this time in history, and decided to pursue a PhD. She was always interested in marginalized people which is why her focus of study was on the Civil Rights Movement. She turned out to be the perfect person to come out to first. I remember the first time I spoke with her after the initial coming out.

We were at a small bar in Mississippi with a patio in the back. Most people who sat back there drank beer and smoked pot in the darker corners. She and I went out there for some privacy. My sexuality changed our friendship for the better. I could talk about hot guys with someone instead of keeping it all in my head and acting like I was not trying to check them out.

We became so much closer because of the open nature of our friendship.