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So what's yaoi? Yaoi in Japan means very specifically fan-produced works using other people's characters. Aniparo liked to do silly things with manly male characters, like putting them in ballet tunics or giving them kitty ears. One of the silly things the fans did was put the manly males in bed together.
And so, in the mid-to-late 80s, a genre was born. Fast-forward a few years. Yaoi had grown to be a huge proportion of the amateur manga market. Certain amateurs, most notably Ozaki Minami, went pro with their series. With names and details changed so its anime roots didn't show, Ozaki's series Bronze became a roaring success.
This makes perfect sense from the Japanese point of view, where people's worlds and marketing targets are both kept quite separate. However this new pro genre wasn't yaoi. Yaoi was still in a slightly derogatory sense the mindless fan-produced stuff. There wasn't any one word in general use for the pro version until recently, when BL boys' love finally became widespread.
It's hard to tell in a mass movement like this just where it all began over here. I believe yaoi came to the west largely thanks to the efforts of Chinese and Korean-American fans, who had come across it translated into their mother tongues and wanted to make it available in English. The Taiwanese translations of Japanese manga pirated, of course often included twenty-odd pages of equally pirated Japanese doujinshi at the end for fun.
That's where Susan Chen, who founded Aestheticismfirst ran across the amateur genre. She began the paper zine of Aestheticism in that went into a web version the next year. Obviously the explosion of yaoi here is due to the net.
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The other major gateway to yaoi was Japanese animation, which became more accessible in the late 90s. At that time the big source of amateur yaoi in Japan was a series called Gundam Wing. They also began writing their own, because the Japanese fan doujinshis are expensive, frequently obscure and require being over 18 to buy.
Probably for the majority of western fans 'Yaoi' means English stories based on their favorite anime series, but there are still many die-hards who seek out both the Japanese fan productions and the pro manga. I do think pro yaoi manga fans tend to be older than the general run of anime-based yaoi fans.
The most popular manga are those that have English translations or summaries available on the net: Ozaki's Bronze and ZetsuaiKodaka Kazuma's KizunaMatoh Sanami's Fake ; or series that can be 'picture read' easily. Kodaka is an easy picture read, Ozaki not so much so. Equally, once a 'yaoish' series gets animated, it gets a larger audience interested in the manga.
Mentioning Yami no Matsuei brings up another point.